Bedknobs and Dumbsticks

     Kate puled up next to the curb in front of the apartment. James was sitting on the front steps of the squat brick cookie-cutter apartment building. Kate shook her head as she cleared the memories of that night 4 years ago. She'd slept with the doc, in the bed with the curtains closed, and closed well. She might not normally be a prude, but too much was just too much.

     As they headed inside, James didn't take her small "emergency bag" that she kept for when she spilled coffee at work or got stranded due to weather. He didn't hold her hand or open doors. There was no pretense that this relationship was anything more than two people who were lonely and didn't hate each other occasionally spending the night together.

     They shed their shoes and jackets in the living room, then made their way to the bedroom. It was her habit to walk in, get undressed, and crawl into bed, where James would be waiting. They would have sex, and Kate would either sleep there or go home, depending on the schedule and the day. It was not a big deal. It certainly wasn't a growing or deepening relationship, which was good. Kate would have run away screaming if it had turned into one.

     Kate was open to a relationship, maybe. Not marriage, certainly, but finding someone she could live with and share life with wouldn't be horrible. James just wasn't in the running. He was just... dull. He lacked ambition, both in bed and in life. Kate found absolutely nothing interesting about him, and when they talked she had to feign interest in amateur basketball leagues and movies she had no desire to see. It was good that they didn't find the need to talk much.

     Tonight, Kate didn't much feel like having sex. She was physically drained, emotionally stressed, and had a headache that didn't seem to want to go away.

     If I crawl in bed with my clothes on and try to just go to sleep, I'll have to deal with him kissing on me and touching me and trying to turn me on. Which means even if I put the actual sex off until morning,  I won't really get to sleep. If I just take my clothes off and go through the motions to get him off, it will take less time and I'll likely get to sleep faster. God, I hope he hasn't been drinking much... I don't want to have to deal with the extra time it takes him. Shit.

     Kate pulled her stretchy tee over her head and stood in her white bra and dark jeans as she removed her jewelry and emptied her pockets into her purse. Unbuttoning her jeans, she briefly considered  going to bed in her bra and panties, but it wasn't like that was going to turn him on more or make him want her. He would be turned on because she was with him, but it could have been any woman as far as his dumbstick was concerned. Hell, he wasn't even watching her undress in the moonlight. James had shed his shorts and sweatshirt quickly, and already crawled into bed. His back was turned to her, as it usually was when she was undressing. She wished she could believe he was being polite somehow, but knew it was simple indifference.

     A lot of people might be hurt by this knowledge, but Kate saw it in a far more practical view. This was not a matter of the heart, it was a matter of practicality. They were merely trading value for value. He wanted to put his dumbstick someplace warm and wet, and she wanted to sleep next to something with a heartbeat and have a place to crash closer to work. If she had given him a spare laptop in exchange for some car repairs, nobody would have batted an eye; but somehow a woman using her body to get what she needed was taboo. But let's face it - women are almost always more likely to have boobs and a vag than they are a spare laptop. More conservative folk would hear that and immediately have visions (from God) of cots fitted with stirrups in the back of the local brake shop where desperate women spread their legs and risked damning their eternal souls to pay a debt to an evil mechanic who overcharged them to begin with. Please. Sex might be best when it was within a loving relationship, and she admired the few people she knew who had that. But that didn't mean it wasn't good other times, or that it couldn't be used in other ways. It didn't mean the world would suddenly turn into one huge orgy - although...

     As she slid into the bed, she rolled her eyes at the bare mattress and mismatched un-covered pillows. When you added the hodgepodge of college-logo blankets and the few errant socks and t-shirts that lay at the foot of the bed, it was evident that he cared little for the impression his home made on guests. Kate had heard stories of single men who lived this way, but by the time she hit her late 20's, most of the guys she knew had cleaned up their act, either because they got married or had kids, or because they realized that women weren't thrilled about looking at the shit.

     James made the obligatory attempt at turning her on, but that wasn't what he was interested in. He asked - again - if she'd let him use the "back door". That was his thing. His ultimate goal. For him, sex couldn't be extraordinary unless he literally got some ass. But he knew better than to push it, so when she said "tonight's not a good night", he didn't ask again. Kate pretended to be ready to go, and sighed heavily as she whispered for him to please just fuck her. Like she wanted it bad and couldn't wait. Because that's what men liked and it would get her to where she wanted to be sooner.

     Five minutes later, Kate was snuggled up with her pillow, wrapped up in a fleece throw proclaiming the owner to be the "World's #1 Michigan Fan". Whatever. It was warm and he had all the "real" blankets wrapped around his somewhat doughboy-like figure. She closed her eyes and drifted off to a world where the man lying next to her looked oddly similar to a young Tommy Lee Jones, had the mind of Ayn Rand or Einstein, and could hold a conversation like she imagined her favorite fiction writers could. It was a nice place.

     In the morning, Kate's alarm went off early. Really early. She'd told him last night that she had to get the kids in the morning so she wouldn't have to deal with the awkward morning discussion that one always has after a one-night-stand or something similar. She slid out of bed, dressed, and thanked him for "last night" as she fastened the strap on her sandals. Grabbing her purse, she headed out the door. She walked up the street to her car, noting that she didn't feel the "walk of shame" shame that people talked about. She didn't care if other people thought she should be embarrassed because she spent the night with someone. Other people didn't get to tell her how to feel any more, and if there was shame to be felt, it should be by the people who believed their ideals should dictate how everyone else lived. Fuck them. It was still a free country in many ways, and she would use that freedom as she chose. She didn't force them to live like she did, or show them scorn because they didn't, so she refused to let their shame over her actions affect the way she lived. If she got burned by her choices in the end, she was the one who would have to deal with those consequences.

     As always, Kate was thankful when her car started. She headed towards home, knowing the kids would be at Lee's until late that evening. Almost automatically, Kate flipped her blinker to take the exit to the Witch's Brew where the Jen the Amazing Barista would whip up a triple grande half-caf non-fat no-whip marble mocha without having to stop and think about it. And where Jen the Amazing Barista wouldn't ask questions about what Kate was doing up and about so early.

Sushi and the Exhibitionist

     Kate slid behind the wheel of her "compact SUV". One day she'd own a big, gas-guzzling, hill-climbing, mud-splashing replacement for the man she'd never have in her life. For now, she contented herself by joking that she had a "baby Jeep", and that if she fed and watered it, one day it would grow into a real one.

     Jacki's plan to go out and drink 'till Kate forgot her troubles had been well-intentioned, but Kate just wasn't feeling it. Her head was pounding. She'd had two glasses of wine, and that was hours ago with dinner, before the karaoke and the few tense moments with the abusive ex who showed up in the same bar. Still, she didn't want to drive the 40 minutes home. Jacki had been going to get her home safely, but since Kate wasn't drunk, and Jacki met that cute guy, it made sense to part ways and drive separately.

     After linking her earpiece and dialing, Kate fastened her seatbelt, turned the ignition, and flicked the blinker knob. No sense getting pulled over in front of a bar for something dumb when she was certainly below any legal intoxication limits, right?

     James picked up, obviously not home in bed. Kate just hoped he wasn't on a date or something. Their on-again-off-again physical relationship hadn't included the whole "relationship talk" to this point.

     "Hey. I'm at the wharf. I really don't want to drive home. I was hoping I could maybe hook up with you and crash at your place. But if you're busy, I don't want to intrude."

     James answered, sounding infinitely more interested than he had when he first picked up. "I'm just at the Junkyard. I'll be home by the time you get there."

     As Kate turned to go through the tunnel and drive the two short miles to James' apartment, she once again found the name "Junkyard" to be curious. In reality, the split-entrance casual dining restaurant and sports bar had an inventive menu, friendly staff, and a locally-high-powered clientele. She'd been there many times, but only once with James, even though he lived just two blocks away. Neither James nor Kate had ever really suggested going on a "date" out in public. The relationship had started as one-night cure for the lonely Kate felt whenever she didn't have her kids overnight. It had developed into a shallow and fleeting part-time affection. A comfortable convenience she could use when she needed a bed to crawl into - on those nights when she would otherwise fall asleep on the sofa with the TV on, waking up periodically with the belief that her children were home. If she slept with him in exchange for the momentary comfort, Kate thought of it like any other relationship: Women sleep with men to get all kinds of things, from attention to zirconium. Some women are subtle, like the kind who turned up the heat in the bedroom after their husbands did the dishes. Others are more forward - picture the beginning scenes of "Pretty Woman" here. Society draws an arbitrary line delineating wrong from right. Kate was no hooker, but she also saw sex as something she could exchange for what she needed. Most of the time she needed companionship. Sometimes she needed a place to hide and some good conversation. Once, she'd done it for a night on the town in style on her birthday. Oh, no, it wasn't an agreed-upon bargain, but she certainly wouldn't have slept with Dr.-whats-his-face if she hadn't felt like he deserved it after the sushi, exclusive nightclub, and posh hotel suite. She shivered at the memory of that night.

     They had met on one of those dating sites. The three-hour drive made traditional dating difficult, but once he had made the drive to take her to dinner. They'd shagged on the living room carpet, never even making it to the bedroom before he left. Kate had gotten the feeling that he "got what he came for" - or would that be "came for what he got? - and had been surprised when he called late the next day. Two weeks later, on her birthday, she had driven to see him. It was a beautiful evening in the city. The hotel was currently occupied by both rock stars and sports heroes, and Kate had even ridden the elevator with one of the Baldric brothers, she was sure of it. She was impressed, though she wasn't fooled into believing it meant anything more than that. Men liked to impress women because women responded to being wowed. Since the beginning of time, or at least since the discovery of diamonds.

     Dr.-whats-his-face had spent the rest of the evening and a good deal of money wowing her. First they had hit an upscale sushi restaurant where Kate experienced her first tastes of the raw fish delicacy and it's counterpart, sake. Then it was off to Undercover, a club so exclusive it had a false entrance where those who weren't "in the know" could walk into a perfectly fine bar and have a drink. For those with the password, however, there was a different door, with a far different world behind it.

     A bit stunned at the sudden appearance of an elevator from a place that moments before had clearly been a brick wall, Kate blindly followed the Doc both onto the elevator and back off. A little disoriented, she allowed him to lead her to a cozy leather sofa just across from a gas fireplace with a beautiful glow. The wall to their right was illuminated with tiny white lights that seemed to twinkle rather than shine. The whole room was like that, as far as Kate could tell. It had been one large room, with brick columns for support. Someone had connected a few of the columns with one another, or with walls, to form a structure similar to a maze, but still open. This design created cozy, dimly-lit spaces that had been furnished with sofas and large leather ottomans alongside ornate oak coffee tables, some square, some curving with the lines of sectional sofas. Kate had never been anyplace quite like this, and though it didn't seem to fit with what she had assumed would be a spy or double-agent theme in such a bar, it was romantic and sexy and she was again duly impressed.

     The waiter stopped and set drinks on the table. He chatted briefly with the Doc, in a way that led Kate to believe Doc had been here before. Kate sipped her vodka martini and tried not to eavesdrop. She stared into the fire, appreciating the icy drink as she swallowed another sip. She felt the Doc's hand on her thigh as she noticed a couple who had come in with a small group and sat on a sectional sofa on the other side of the fireplace. These two needed to get a room! Kate was almost embarrassed by them, but the alcohol and the atmosphere had dulled her inhibitions and she just giggled as she turned to the Doc.

     "Those two need to get a room. He practically has her shirt off right here in the bar."

     "Yeah. There shouldn't be any real nudity in here. Sometimes people get a little out of hand, I guess. To each his own, but I don't mind when people bend the rules a little."

     As the Doc answered, Kate realized she was nervously chewing her olive after having nervously swallowed the last of her martini. She didn't remember having that many sips. Maybe her sips had gotten bigger with his hand on her thigh and this air of sex and romance. The waiter had apparently noticed the heightened sippage and subtly removed her class as he set a fresh one in front of her. The Doc smiled at his friend, then turned and looked into her eyes. As his lips met hers, she felt the added intoxication that comes from being kissed by someone who knows how to kiss. Make that someone who knows how to kiss well. When he deepened the kiss, his tongue felt hot and rough against hers. His hands wandered to her waist and neck as her mind wandered to the other things that tongue might be capable of.

     He gently eased her back into the cushion, and for a moment Kate thought she just might lie back and let him do with her as he wished, right then and there. But of course it was just a moment, like when the delivery man comes to the office and you have a moment where you picture him under you on your desk. Then you sign his thingamajig and get back to looking busy. A moment. Not like the girl from across the room who had since walked further into the maze of cubbies and semi-private areas. She didn't understand the meaning of fantasizing about something you don't actually do. Or maybe she was just drunk and needed to take her top off and the fireplaces kept her warm... whatever.

     As Kate's mind left the girl and focused back on her own lips, she broke the kiss. Giggling, she said, "If we're going to take it that far, shouldn't we go back to the room?"

     "Before we leave, why don't we see if we can find someplace a little more private. That way we can talk or make out or whatever", the Doc said. And to Kate's sake- and vodka- enlightened mind, that sounded like a perfect plan. She grabbed her drink as he grabbed her hand and led her back into the maze. As she passed one space draped with a thin veil of fabric, she could have sworn she saw a girl who was completely nude. Her eyes were playing tricks on her already.

     Not seeing a spot to his liking, the Doc had led her back further, to another elevator. He set her drink on a nearby sideboard table and taking her hand, he turned her around. Trapping her body against the wall with his, he kissed her lips. Again and again he teased her lips with his, then he pulled away to kiss her neck, then her shoulder. He had one hand on the wall behind Kate, and the other at the nape of her neck in a gesture that was slightly aggressive but tender and sensual. After nibbling on her earlobe, he nuzzled his lips against her ear.

     "This is a special kind of club. We can continue this upstairs. They have plenty of room, and we could even let people watch if you wanted to..."

     "Oh, crap", Kate had thought to herself. "Oh fuck. Now what?"

     Not wanting to overreact, Kate took a breath, then smiled. "I don't think I'm quite ready for that." She giggled as she spoke, hoping it would ease the tension she was feeling and let him see how nervous she was.

     To his credit, which was dwindling quickly in Kate's opinion, the Doc hadn't tried to pressure her into staying. He led her back out the way they had come in. He sat their drinks back on the coffee table and sat down.

     "How about we finish our drinks, the go back to the hotel? There's a bar there if we want to keep drinking, or we can go upstairs and see where the night takes us."

     "Can I have 'Corny Pick-up Lines' for $1,000 please, Alex? 'See where the night takes us', he said. Did he really think she didn't understand what he wanted out of the night at this point?"

     "Sounds good" she said aloud, thankful he couldn't hear her thoughts. She had discovered that dates didn't end well if the other person didn't get her particular brand of humor. And a lot of people didn't quite get Kate as it was, so she'd learned to control her rapier wit when necessary. Usually. Ok, sometimes. She was working on it, at least.

     The two finished their drinks and hailed a cab. On the way to the hotel, he toyed with the hemline of her skirt, inching it up to nearly indecent levels in the back seat. His kisses remained passionate and heated as his hands wandered above her waist, once even pulling her sweater up far enough to fondle her nipple through her lace bra without interference. Kate had all but forgiven him the bizarre second-date sex club incident since he had let the issue drop so easily and still seemed interested in having good, old-fashioned hot, steamy just-met-this-guy sex like a civilized gentleman.

     As the Doc paid the Cabbie, Kate opened the door and waited in the cool night air. The Doc strolled around the car and took her hand. As they walked into the lobby, he whispered in her ear once again.

     "Our room has a large window facing the atrium and pool. There are tons of people staying at this hotel because of the concert and the game. What do you say we open the curtains and I fuck you against the window so people can watch?"

     "This seriously isn't happening to me today. Aren't you supposed to wait until at least the third date to start showing your kinks? We all have a wild side, and this might have been fun, but this shit is date five information, at least. Really."

    

The Fury and The Insanity

 Most of the time, when people say "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", they're speaking of matters of the heart, but Kate  could think of no better word for the look on her boss' face. Maybe there was a hint of a smile, but Stephanie always had been able to hide her feelings well.

   "So, am I being sued?" Kate asked, biting her lip. Her emotions were not on her side right now. She wanted to give in to the side that was yearning to laugh until she hurt at the impossibility of what she was hearing. That side, had she not been biting her lip, would have caused her to giggle uncontrollably as she tried to explain how she sometimes responded inappropriately during stressful times. The other side, naturally, wanted to collapse in tears at the situation she was now facing. Focusing on the pain in her lip helped control the tears.

   "You're not, but the company is. I can't discuss the terms of any legal discussions with you. If you had responded to my letter sooner, maybe we could have proceeded differently, but as of right now, you are terminated without possibility of rehire."

   "But I didn't get your letter. I was on vacation. Why didn't you send me an e-mail, or call, or send me a text telling me to have someone check my mail? I thought after ten years with the company I would at least get some notice." Kate was incredulous. Stephanie knew she had been on vacation. They shared an office, for crying out loud!

   "Legal said I should only contact you by mail. I'm sorry. I really wish I could have done something different" Stephanie said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. The motion spoke volumes. Stephanie was well-versed in the study of body language, and used it in business. It was one of her self-professed "special skills". In crossing her arms, she was shutting Kate out of the world they had both struggled to occupy for far too long. Right or wrong, Stephanie had her in the proverbial corner. Not even twelve months after her new boss' arrival, Kate's dreams of a life-long career with the company were shattered. The worst part was, there hadn't even been a good reason.

   Kate had always said that if she were going to steal from the company, which she wouldn't, that it would have to be enough to get her and the kids out of the country and on to a well-funded life somewhere - and there just wasn't ever that much in the register. The point was, if you're going to break the rules, it had better be worth it, and it almost never is.

   That's what was bugging her about this. Well, that, and the "N" word issue. Two things. Three. Three if you counted the fact that she had been in an open office, with her ex-fiancee in the waiting area. She simply hadn't done what she was accused of doing. The fact was, if she had broken the rules to that extent, she would remember. It would have been worth it. If she had physically harassed a man, he would have been so handsome, so charming, so intelligent, and so funny that she wouldn't have ever forgotten him. Then, according to the accusation, she had proceeded to try and impress this man she was so taken with by using vulgar language? Besides, Kate hadn't ever used that word. Ever. Sure, she had said it, matter-of-fact, to explain things to her children. But never in the hateful way it had been suggested.

   Kate wasn't hateful. She had some unusual ideas for this small town, and some people might not have liked the way she chose to live, but she didn't judge them based on skin color. It was below her, really. If Kate wanted to dislike a person, she could find so many, better reasons most of the time.

   No, this was a lucky break for Stephanie. Kate had told an angry client that the company wasn't going to pay him what he wanted, in all likelihood. He had filed a complaint against her, which Stephanie had sent to Kate's home, knowing she was visiting friends. Stephanie had gotten rid of Kate without even trying.

   Kate didn't break the rules any more. Not much anyway. Not at work. There was too much on the line. She was clinging to this career like it was all she had, because it felt like it was. She dated a client once. Once. He pursued her for three years first, and even went to another professional in the firm to make it happen. It ended well, in agreement that neither was right for the other. But Kate had learned a lesson when she realized what could have happened if it had gone less easily. And once, she had let her heart say a client didn't owe a tax when her head knew they did. It hadn't gone so far as the IRS. Hadn't even left her desk. She'd told the clients she thought they were getting a nice refund before checking her facts. They weren't. The result was disappointed clients and a tax adviser who knew that her heart and her emotions could never be a part of her job. That's how she had continued working for all the years she was at Wright & Paul. And now it didn't matter. Stephanie had found a way around the rules and Kate was finished.

   After putting on her best "I'll be better off without you" face, and graciously thanking the bitch for her time, Kate gathered her things and set off for the parking garage. It was a weekend, so there was no one in the office to say good-bye to, and she had cleared out her desk before leaving on vacation, as a convenience to whoever needed to use it. She settled into the driver's seat and reached for her purse. Digging the cell phone out would be the easy part, she thought, as she tried to figure out how to break the news to her best friend. Jacki had been transferred to Kate's division at Wright & Paul just over a year ago. The two had clicked almost instantly outside of work, although Jamie brought a little more of her carefree side into the office, which had made Kate uncomfortable at first.

   As she dialed, she remembered there was something she had always wondered about her friend, but never knew. When Kate had asked Jacki if her name was short for "Jacqueline", she has said "no". When pressed, Jacki had refused to give her full name, saying it was "crazy". Now Kate had a bargaining chip. Jacki was dying to know why Kate had been fired. Kate had gotten the phone call while she and Jacki were out to a late dinner and some drinks, but Stephanie would not disclose why except in a scheduled face-to-face meeting. So they'd had to wait.

   Jacki picked up on the second ring. "How'd it go?"

   "First, you tell me how you got your name. It's been bugging me since..."

   "Oh My God" said Jacki, cutting Kate off mid-sentence. "You can't be serious. If I had known it was that important to you I would have told you for a fuckin' Miller Light. My dad likes to ski. When he met the guy who introduced dad to my mom, they were skiing at Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I'm named Jackson, because dad insisted and mom thought it was "cute". Do I look like "cute"? Hell, no, but here I sit, Jackson Charlotte Pierce. Call me Jacki. Now for God's sake please, what happened at the meeting?"

   Kate caught Jacki up on the meeting. Jacki naturally agreed the whole thing was ludicrous, but knew as well as Kate that it was air-tight from a legal standpoint. Firms like Wright & Paul didn't hire cheap lawyers.

   "Where are the kids this weekend? Let's go out and have some adult beverages and you can badmouth Stephanie all you want."

   "Beth and Toby are at mom's. Lee couldn't take them - again. He says he's working all the time, but I'm not seeing the child support to back up that claim." Kate giggled as she said this. Jacki already knew Kate supported her two kids on the small intern's salary from the firm. She also knew that Kate's ex was an on-again-off-again kind of dad, popping up when convenient, then moving away for a year and not once coming to visit. "He's not a bad guy," Kate always said. "He's just not my kind of good guy. He never grew up."

   "See if your mom can keep them. You need a night out. I'm buying the first round. And who knows, maybe we'll run into your jackass client and you can give him a piece of your mind."

   "Hahaha. I don't even remember what the guy looks like. I only remember the appointment at all because he left angry that I wouldn't promise him his money back. I'll talk to mom when I get to her house. I hate leaving the kids to go out, but they haven't stayed with their grandma in a few weeks, and they might want to."

   "Let me know. I think I'm going to Stirrups tonight anyway, so you can meet me there if you can."

   After hitting the appropriate button on her wireless earpiece to end the call, Kate turned up the radio and the tears started to fall...